But how?
When someone is struggling or suffering, with anything – depression, resentment, addiction, or any other experience that is “negative,” their symptoms (key word here) are usually “negative” behaviors. These might look like: lying, cheating, stealing, being unreliable, “laziness” rudeness and so on. If this person is close to us, those behaviors might affect us. The closer the relationship, the more intense that affect might be.
If we are focused on the ways of the world, we are going to get angry, offended, hurt, and hope that the persons behavior changes. We think the behavior is the problem and if they just “act right” then we will forgive them, or we will be able to find peace in the relationship. More than that, we really do love the person and we want the best for them, but we so badly want (and need) them to change their behavior.
Can we be honest with ourselves here? In this case, our love is conditional. It’s conditional on the person acting in a way that doesn’t hurt us. Our love is tied to their behavior. We have “lines in the sand” that mean we will only go so far. We will fully love… until we get offended or hurt.
So how do we not get hurt or not get offended? Are we just supposed to be a passive “doormat” and let people do whatever they want to do to us? Of course not. There is no one-sized-fits all answer to every situation and every relationship, but the common thread in EVRTYTHING is God’s Love and our trust in Him. How much do we trust Him? How much are we protecting what’s His over what we believe is ours? Are we actually hurt when someone lies to us? Are we actually offended when someone says something hurtful? Or are we just reacting that way because that’s what the world has conditioned us to do?
Do we place our trust in others higher than our trust in God? Are we looking for security in our relationships, through emotional stability or self-esteem building? Or are we relying on God to keep us secure? Are we free to love or are we in bondage in our hearts?
His Love. It was a free gift to us. We received it. And Now as He is so are we (John 4:17). Are we living with His Love our ours?
His love casts our all fear. His love reminds us of who He is, who we are, and who others are. The negative behaviors, the symptoms we see from our fellow humans, can never be “behaved out of.” Perfect love is the ONLY thing that can cut through the fog, darkness, pain someone is experiencing. If someone has reached you this way through your darkness, then you know this to be true.
We can trust that living with His Love will cast our everything. That it will guide us to whatever decisions we need to make, and in the process, we will still be safe. And loved.
Comments